the thinking stoner

For anyone who still bothers to look in, despite my lack of recent productivity:

Real life has intruded on this little blog-space in the form of a paying gig — I’ve been hired to ghostwrite a novel for a fictional character, which is as strange as it sounds. There are more details, of course, but they’re pretty much impossible to share without compromising the anonymity of the relationship we’ve all been building over the last several months. Suffice to say that my current mental state alternates unsteadily among elation, terror, and reassuringly stoned.

The gig will be over come January, when I’ll turn the (hopefully) completed work over to the publishers and I can return to our conversation refreshed, renewed, and solvent in all the important ways. If you’re interested in an email notification upon our return, please email me at jg@thinkingstoner.com.

Until then, fellow burners, happy Fall, and thanks as always for stopping by…

In contrast to Seth Rogen’s very public love affair with the weed, Pineapple Express co-star James Franco has generally played it a bit closer to the vest, preferring that we attribute his success as an on-screen stoner to his craft as opposed to any real-life experience. Still, that hasn’t stopped him from reaping what many (all of us, anyway) might consider a fringe benefit:

“I’ve [also] had someone come up to me and be, ‘Hey! What’s up, man?’ and give me a handshake and palm me a little bag of weed,” the actor says. I guess this is what happens when you are good at acting like a pothead. . . . “

(via TheCelebrityCafe.com)

This weekend, the City of Seattle celebrates Hempfest, the world’s largest annual gathering for the love of the weed. Entering its 17th year, the event has evolved from a “humble gathering of stoners” into a 2-day mash-up of political rally, live music, trade show, art in the park, and a surfeit of opportunities to expose oneself to, in the words of the ‘fest itself:

the myriad of potential benefits offered by the Cannabis plant, including the medicinal, industrial, agricultural, economic, environmental, and other benefits and applications, including domestic industrial hemp production and commerce. In particular, Seattle Hempfest seeks to advance the cause of Cannabis policy reform through education, while advancing the public image of the Cannabis advocate or enthusiast through example.

Clearly not written by a stoner. Anyway, over 100,000 are expected to participate, the past attendee pictured above hopefully among them. The contact high is expected to reach Portland. And, as reported in the Seattle Post-Intelligencer’s Seattle 911 blog, many bicyclists are likely to be separated from their rides:

In 2007, 863 people walked off Metro buses without their bikes. The record single-day number was 26 — during one of the days of Hempfest.

To the outside world, California may appear to be populated entirely by depraved legions of pot-smoking liberals.

Let me tell you, from the inside, it looks pretty much the same.

We do keep a few conservatives around, however, an hour’s drive south of Los Angeles, nestled safely amidst the San Diego Zoo, the Wild Animal Park, and SeaWorld. The entertainment value they provide is unparalleled.

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The return of Hi-Love Goo, possibly the most wonderful hybrid I’ve ever smoked, led to an unproductive if wonderful week.

As for the photograph above, the Thinking Stoner in no way wishes to imply that the great Gabe Kaplan is a stoner. Then again…

So yes, I did find a way to smoke a bit of whatever I’m smoking this week (a super-pleasant tasting hybrid I’m pretty sure calls itself “hi-lavender”) and catch a matinee of Pineapple Express. Was it worth seeing? Of course it was. Will it change your world? Find out (with a few minor spoilers) after the jump…

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Fans of reefer and cosplay: rejoice! This mask will only set you back $35.

The best way to make a small fortune in the wine industry, goes the old saying, is to begin with a large one. The vineyard has long been a hallowed American symbol of wealth so vast it deserves to be squandered.

In the state of Washington, however, some enterprising marijuana farmers have transformed the landscape, finally putting these traditional money-drainers to good economic use. As pot farms.

According to The Seattle Times, “this season” (which either refers to pot growing season or the more troubling idea that narcotics busts have become a part of nature) there have been five separate raids on Yakima Valley vineyards by (an oddly unspecified) drug task force. Estimated value of the plants seized: $77,000,000.

Three days earlier, on the other side of our great nation, the Raleigh NC News and Observer reported a $72 million seizure in a field of weed large enough for its proprietors to have required two separate campsites.

Is there a point where fiscal folly outweighs the desire to maintain a semblance of moral rectitude? In just three days, we’ve torched nearly $150 million in untaxed gains that drug dealers — America’s true young Republicans — would have reinjected into the economy by way of tricked-out gas guzzlers and Second Amendment arsenals. Could a year of such losses wipe out, say, the entire effect of the recent Economic Stimulus Payments?

It’s only July, but the race for Stoner of the Year is all but over. The New York Post’s Page Six (via today’s Defamer) reports that the writer-actor-weedlover recently continued his one-man assault on anti-pothead prejudice by lighting up at a recent Maxim party. Despite the affair’s stated intention as promotion for the upcoming release of Pineapple Express, the scene proved to be anything but 420-friendly:

“Rogan [sic] was at the Maxim party for his new flick, Pineapple Express, on the rooftop of the Solamar Hotel in San Diego where, spies said, he was smoking a funny-smelling hand-rolled cigarette. One onlooker said, ‘He was told to put it out immediately or leave.’”

Petty? Ironic? Absurdist? All of the above. But while Mr. Rogen may have lost this battle with whatever poor hotel employee was forced to confront him, he’s clearly winning the war.

Potheads (and those who love them) aren’t the only ones benefiting from Hollywood’s current infatuation with the weed — International Oddities, purveyors of “the world’s most popular legal buds” for over 25 years (including those used in the infamous incident at this year’s MTV awards), recently took the time to remind us (via press release) that what you’re seeing puffed on the screen should in no way be considered “fake” or “stunt” weed:

“The International Oddities product line is actually not a prop at all, nor is it ‘fake weed.’ The ‘RYO (roll your own) legal bud hybrids’ are the brainchild of the International Oddities staff itself. At a recent trade show, industry insiders shared their opinion that the pleasurable smoking line offered by International Oddities, which consists of dozens of legal buds such as Krypto and Panama Gold Bud, represents the future of smoking in America.”

If the idea of smoking marijuana that doesn’t get you high sounds in any way appealing to you, it’s worth perusing the wide range of lovingly-crafted products available at the International Oddities website. Or to quote Dave Atell (complaining about opera) on the very much-missed Dr. Katz: Professional Therapist, “Look how much it takes to bore me.”